Many people never have the greatest luck when it comes to relationships as they never stay long in any relationship; they either find the situation stressful and call it a quit or they are dumped. The seemingly lucky ones at some point also get fed up as humans are naturally imperfect. While a few individuals may mutually decide to work things out, many opt for breakup.
And normally we do know how shocking and saddening it could be whenever the news of separation or breakup echoes in, particularly when one party still can’t let go of the good times of love and shared feelings. It always seems hard on both or either party when a happy relationship runs out of its sweetness and is at the edge of separation whether or not it is mutually agreed. It might get you into doing things that are out of your character.
However, in any way the splitting comes; whether your partner wants to hitch another ride, or you two mutually decide to have your lives apart, you just have to learn to avoid certain things during post breakup. Once you notice any sign that a breakup is somewhat inevitable and your relationship is ending soon, set your mind to avoiding some of the following as it is wise not to force an already fed up partner to move on with you.
1. Avoid Taking Vengeance, Leave It To Karma
When you’re dumped, retribution is the most inessential thing to do no matter the ill-treatment and stressful situation you must have been subjected to in the relationship. No matter the lies you were told, the irking way you were spoken to, how you were badly criticised, abandoned, or whatever you sacrificed in the past; darling always shut the door silently like a mature person and take the high road.
Never seek getting even. You really don’t need the drama and chaos after a heartbreak. Vengeance will only make you look like a psycho who cannot let go. Also, opting for retaliation will add to your hurt as steady plotting on how to hurt the person will end up making them a steady part of your life. Just get up, dust yourself and let go, in future, you might be thankful for letting them go.
2. Avoid Listening To Sad Music
During post breakup, avoid listening to sad music about breakup. Cuddling yourself up in your bed and listening to sad music like’ Heartbreak’, ‘Love Lost’, ‘We were in love’ and other breakup-related songs is depressing and will only make the situation worse. Rather, stick to cheerful and optimistic music that will raise your hope and help you overcome whatever you think you’ve lost.
3. Avoid Calling Your Relationship ‘Complicated’
When asked your relationship status, never say it is complicated. To me single is the right word to use as you would likely keep nursing in your heart the unimportant thought of working things out later on which will make you get hurt the more if it’s never-coming.
Telling the world your relationship status is complicated after breakup never get to solve the heart-ache of breakup. It will only get you thinking all the time that you will somehow patch things up with a partner who seem entirely uninterested anymore.
4. Avoid Talking Bad About Your Ex
When your partner chooses to go on without you, as a reasonable person, avoid giving the details to the world. Don’t go about telling every Dick and Harry about your ex’s shortcomings. This only portrays you as a bad person without you knowing it. You are indirectly belittling your standards as well as sending a wrong message about yourself when you keep talking bad about your ex. It also makes you look like a loser, because losers criticize people when they can’t have them to themselves.
5. Avoid Sending Them Accidental Messages
Messages like ‘Oops, sorry, sent that to the wrong person. So …how are you?’ are uncalled for. Trying to start-up a conversation with your ex in this way especially when they have moved on already is like adding salt to injury. It will not just hurt you when you’re ignored by someone whom you’ve been longing to hear from and maybe think pride is just the thing making them not to be the first to talk to you or when you find out that they still don’t give a f**k about you, it also makes you look obviously desperate.
If there is possibility of you two to come together ever again, this kind of message will prolong the time and in some cases, reduce the chances for you two sorting out your differences ever again. People hate it when you try to play smart with them, because it wasn’t really a mistake as you knew who you sent the message to in the first place. And even if it was a mistake, it makes them think you still stalk their contact, think about them and the like which normally get them feeling you really can’t deal with the breakup.
6. Avoid Changing Your Looks
Breakups can be saddening, but it could be a great chance to make great changes to your life. Making positive changes after breakup is welcoming and wise, yet making extreme changes could be regrettable in future. Major changes to your look like shaving your hair, inking tattoos, bleaching your skin to become light-skinned, looking worn-down and desperate, dressing overly to get all the attention possible when you’re always amazing in simple smart dresses, leaving beards to overgrow because beards are now the new six packs, won’t solve anything.
If you must make change, make the necessary changes by reinventing yourself which is prone to adding value to your personality, not focusing on your look like someone who is crying out to be noticed.
7. Never Let Your Ex Sleep With You
Sex is never going to bring them back so letting them sleep with you won’t do likewise. All you need is to extract your ex from your life, give yourself time to heal, and create the space to move on. Having sex with your ex draws you back whenever you want to move on. And if you presume that using sex as a kind of manipulation to make him stay will make it work, after satisfying their animal urge, they will still thrash you.
Sex is never the final need of people in a relationship as there are too many things that matter so much outside it. It is just one of the things and not all of the things, so sleeping with him just to keep him from being fully free or to prevent him from sleeping with someone else only makes you tie yourself down. Cease to have any form of physical relationship with your ex, else it will make them to effortlessly have what they miss in you and this will make them never want to come back
8. Don’t Wallow In The Past
Remember the saying about an Idle mind? After breakup, don’t stay idle, get busy with anything. Read books, watch movies (but not romantic ones that might remind you things you’re trying to forget), make friends, and so on. As a matter of fact, you should avoid too much thoughts about your ex, what they’re probably doing at the moment, what they used to do, how they are likely to change without you and all what not. It won’t help you give up on them that easily.
As long as you are no longer dating, open your mind to other things, worthy things that will improve your life. If you wallow up in your past, you will not only get hurt all the time, you will make people around you uncomfortable as well.
9. Avoid Begging Your Ex For a Come Back
This rule specifically applies to the ladies. A man can beg for a make up which doesn’t really seem wrong, but if you’re a lady in a relationship and your man says it’s over. Sweetheart let him go for good. If a man decides to take a break, he actually needs his time and forcing yourself on him won’t render any help.
We understand that the thought of losing someone you have very strong feelings of affection for is normally tough whether it was amicably settled or not. And at that moment, begging and pleading may seem like the best thing to do. But if your ex has decided to end the relationship, no amount of begging or pleading or demands for pity will get your ex to come back to you. Rather, it will make you look insecure, desperate, and needy like you are never going to make it without them.
10. Don’t Be Friends
Hardly can two people make a smooth change from being lovers to friends. If nonetheless you’re going to give it try, don’t try until the wounds have healed. Remaining friends straight after the breakup of your relationship goes hand in hand with having sex after breakup and this doesn’t leave you enough time or space to properly get over it. Cut all ties immediately at least until your wounds have healed.